Couples Therapy
“Behind every great relationship are difficult and uncomfortable conversations we rarely get to see. Great relationships don’t just fall on our laps. They require both people to move through their fears and insecurities and do the hard work to move wounds into healing.”
~ Vienna Pharaon
- Couples therapy sessions – in-person (Umhlanga office) or online (Zoom)
- Session duration – 55 minutes
How can I help you?
Couples counselling can be beneficial for any relationship. Couples that delay coming to therapy may have to work more to repair their relationship because of the severity of the damage the relationship has sustained over time. Ideally, you should come for couples counselling if:
- there is a breakdown in communication (persistent arguing),
- increased dissatisfaction within the relationship,
- various attempts at connecting with one another or resolving conflict have been unsuccessful and/or have led to more conflict, tension, or avoidance and/or
- you are experiencing a current problem or are feeling stuck in experiences of the past.
Couples who are interested in growing their connection and communication are also welcome.
Other issues couples might be going through that could benefit from couples therapy
- Infidelity
- Changes in the relationship (e.g., marriage, children, empty nest)
- Issues with infertility
- Family and/or in-law problems
- Navigating different sexual needs
- Having different financial management styles
- Grief and/or loss
What happens during couple therapy?
Couples are seen together for couple’s sessions (whether online or in-person) unless an individual process is deemed necessary to address barriers to the joint process. Throughout the process, couples will be encouraged to speak directly with each other, rather than taking turns to speak to me. This is to help couples connect with one another.
Couples are supported in developing intentional behaviour and communication with one another while working on understanding and reducing their reactivity toward one another, working to increase safety within the relationship space.
Couples are encouraged to focus their attention on feelings and needs rather than who is right or wrong so that they can find ways of being and connecting with one another that is mutually fulfilling.
What approaches are used during couple therapy?
My approach is integrative. I utilize non-violent communication, cognitive behavioural therapy, schema therapy, and components of IMAGO therapy to help guide couples in their understanding of underlying patterns of thinking and/or behaviour that could be bringing about conflict rather than harmony in their relationship.
Is couples counselling guaranteed to work?
The couples counselling process differs for each couple. While I am there to offer guidance and support to couples who see me, the couple needs to be committed to doing the work in and between sessions.
Couples therapy is not a quick fix as it does take time for couples to learn new ways of being and connecting with and communicating to one another. There might also be barriers that make it difficult for couples to listen, understand, and empathise with one another which might need to be addressed at an individual level too.
Depending on the problems couples present with, the length of their relationship, and their commitment to the process, relationship, change/growth, personal responsibility, and reducing negativity in the relationship, the therapy process can take between 2 to 12 months.
Some couples may decide that the best thing for their relationship and well-being is to end their relationship. Should this happen, the therapy space can still offer support and guidance as they navigate this process.